Passover is a time for family, fun, togetherness, and all the things that make being a Jew such an amazing, communal experience. Judaism also has the important hallmark of being an evolving religion, one that is, by design, able to mold, reshape, and redefine itself for the norms of society … and as a result we have lasted as a vibrant community longer than any other, in more cultures than any other, integrating into more societies than any other, and we continue to reinvent ourselves and our faith with every year, every holiday, every day and through the retelling and reinterpretation of each Torah portion every week.
We ALL add to the canon of Jewish thought. Each Rabbi adds their interpretations, and crafts their congregation’s understanding. Each new b’nai mitzvah interprets their parsha in their own way, and crafts their own understanding of what it means to be Jewish. And each of us, with each of our own unique interpretations of the stories and lessons of the midrash, pass our unique brand of Judaism to our children and those with whom we gather to pray.
My family has taken all these concepts — from the pure “Jewishness” of Passover to the evolutionary nature of the religion itself — and applied them at our Passover seder in a unique way.
A “fab” way, if you will.
One more hint: imagine if the four sons were named Paul, John, George and Ringo …
So here’s the tale…
One spring morning, too many years ago to count, I had an idea: what if we rewrote a Beatles song to tell a Passover tale, and we sang it at our Seder? From that moment of inspiration, “Hey Jews (to the tune of Hey Jude)” was born (see below). And it was a hit — almost as big of a hit as the original, I’d like to think.
Well, to my unending joy, the next year, my sister arrived with “Yellow Passover (to the tune of Yellow Submarine).” Subsequent years elicited “Pharoah’s Lament (to the tune of Yesterday),” “Matzo-Covered Desert (to the tune of Octopus’ Garden),” and many more.
To bring a little “mania” to your Seder (Beatlemania, that is), I thought I’d share a few of the greatest hits with you!
Enjoy, and Happy Passover!
Hey, Jews
(to the tune of “Hey Jude” by The Beatles)
Hey Jews,
Matzah tastes bad.
But it’s 8 days
Till we get better.
Remember the Red Sea that G-d part,
So we could start
To wander the desert.
Pharaoh knew
That G-d was mad.
It was so long
The Jews were fettered.
So Moses said “Let my people go!
Or Pharaoh you’ll know,
Why our God is better!”
Then Moses said unto the slaves,
“Hey, Jews, be brave!
It won’t be too long ‘til we can flee.
Just bake your bread, don’t let it rise,
For our demise, Will come if we linger once we’re freed.”
(Na na na na na na na na na…)
Though True,
Things looked quite bad,
To the Pharaoh
Jews were cheap labor.
He’d long since been through with Union men
He did not intend
To do Moses a favor.
Chorus
Frogs, Locusts, Vermin so vile!
Blood in the Nile!
Plague you!
Anthrax (the cattle disease)
Boils and Beasts!
Plague You!
Hail, Darkness!
Angel of Death!
Then the Jews Left!
Plague You!
Yellow Passover
( to the tune of “Yellow Submarine” by The Beatles)
In a town not far from here
Lived a man who had four sons
One was wise, and one was simple,
And another was simply dumb.
But the fourth, as you shall see,
Made him wish his sons numbered three.
CHORUS:
We were slaves under Pharaoh’s evil rule,
Evil Pharaoh’s rule,
Pharaoh’s evil rule.
G-d sent Moses with an outstretched hand
To lead us all away
To the Promised Land.
Well, the wise son asked his Dad,
“What does all of this mean to us?”
And his father proudly beamed
And said, “My son, Listen up!”
CHORUS:
We were slaves under Pharaoh’s evil rule,
Evil Pharaoh’s rule,
Pharaoh’s evil rule.
G-d sent Moses with a mighty arm
And an outstretched hand
To lead us to the Promised Land.
Then the simple son looked up,
“Daddy, Daddy, what is this?”
And his father smiled down,
“Oh, my simple son, here’s the gist:”
CHORUS:
We were slaves under Pharaoh’s evil rule
Evil Pharaoh’s rule
Pharaoh’s evil rule.
Now we’re free thanks to G-d and his Land,
G-d and his Land,
G-d and his Land.
Then the father turned around,
And saw the dumb son,who made no sound
His big eyes were bright and kind
So his father spoke his mind:
CHORUS:
We were slaves under Pharaoh’s evil rule
Evil Pharaoh’s rule
Pharaoh’s evil rule.
Now we’re free thanks to G-d and his Land,
G-d and his Land,
G-d and his Land.
Then the wicked son stood up
And asked his father, with a sneer,
“What does all this mean to you?”
His angry father said, “Now you hear!”
CHORUS:
We were slaves under Pharaoh’s evil rule,
Evil Pharaoh’s rule,
Pharaoh’s evil rule.
G-d sent Moses to lead us all away,
But you with no respect,
You could be a slave today!
PHARAOH’S LAMENT
(to the tune of “Yesterday” by The Beatles)
Yesterday,
All the Jews were working as my slaves.
Now they’re gone and I must find a way
These pyramids, how will I pay?
Suddenly,
Their worth seems so obvious to me.
How I wish I hadn’t been so mean.
The Jews are gone, now what will be?
Mo…ses… said that G-d would be mad,
I didn’t care.
He said, “Death will come to your sons,
So do beware!”
I believed
That their G-d would never do those deeds
I was wrong and now the Jews are freed
And I am left in dire need.
The Jews are gone, Oh woe is me!
Matzo-Covered Desert
(To the tune of “Octopus’ Garden” by the Beatles)
I want to be, parting the sea,
In a matzo-covered desert, in the sun.
Leading the Jews, wearing no shoes.
In a matzo-covered desert, in the sun.
We would traipse across the sand,
Looking for, the Promised Land.
I want to be, parting the sea,
In a matzo-covered desert, in the sun.
We would run, from Egyptians,
Who would chase us through the ever-coming waves.
The sea would part, through it we’d dart,
And the Pharaoh’s men would follow to their graves.
They would thrash and splash around,
But in the end, the bad guys drown!
I want to be, parting the sea,
In a matzo-covered desert, in the sun.
We would shout, and sing about,
Even though the bread we baked was not quite done.
Oh what joy, for every girl and boy,
To be free from Pharaoh’s rule that was no fun.
We would be so happy being free,
No one there to tell us what to do.
I’d like to be, parting the sea,
In a matzo-covered desert, with you,
In a matzo-covered desert, with you,
In a matzo-covered desert, with you.
Eight Days this Week
(To the tune of “Eight Days a Week” by The Beatles)
These rules came from above babe, yes you know it’s true.
Hametz ain’t for us, babe, bread will bid adieu.
No beer, oh dear,
So steer, way clear,
Ain’t got muffins thereof babe,
Eight days this week.
Chorus
Cake, maize and wheat – I love you,
(But) if you’ve got yeast, Though you’re tasty, I wouldn’t dare!
Matzah ev’ry day – oi, always on my mind,
One thing I can’t say “Boy, Matzah is sublime!”
Ha-metz, won’t rate
this date, eight straight,
Check all your pants cuffs, babe,
Eight days this week.
Chorus
Bake crazy sweets, like macaroons and sponge cake
Wait till you eat, some matzah brei and you won’t care!
Leavening ain’t love, babe, though it just might seem
You can’t make it eight days without your Krispy Kremes.
So what’s… Donuts?
Pie Crust, you putz?
Toughen your resolve babe,
Eight days this week! Eight Days this Week! Eight Days this Week!
MAXWELL’S PASSOVER
(to the tune of “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” by The Beatles)
“Let my people go, or G-d will stage a mighty show!”
That’s what Moses said.
But Pharaoh had an awfully big, fat head.
He said, “Not today. The Jews are here and they must stay
to build my pyramids.”
And that’s when Moses started to flip his lid.
And as he banged his staff on the floor,
A bolt came from above:
Boom! Flash! Crash! The water turned into
Blood at G-d’s hand!
Frogs and bugs were feasting nicely
Upon the Pharaoh’s land!
Moses went away, but came another day to say,
“Let my people go!”
But stupid Pharaoh said to him, “I don’t know…”
“The blood and frogs and bugs
Made me think your G-d sure does
Want His people freed.
But I am simply blinded with massive greed.”
As Moses turned his back on the man,
Our G-d played out his plan…
Boom! Flash! Crash! And wild beasts
had Their fateful roam,
Cows and horses died and boils
Upon Egyptians foamed!
Moses thought “Today,
Pharaoh must be turned our way.”
But Pharaoh’s will was steel.
He thought that maybe he could fool Moses
Oh, what a heel!
He said, “Yes, today, I will send the Jews away!
Just keep your G-d at bay!”
But Moses left, and still the Jews had to stay.
As Moses turned away in a scuff,
Our G-d called Pharaoh’s bluff!
Boom! Flash! Crash! The skies were heavy with Hail – But then much worse…
Locusts swarmed! Then Darkness fell!
The Egyptians swore and cursed!
Moses came again and asked if Pharoah found his brain,
But Pharaoh was unmoved.
“Your G-d sure has a powerfully nasty mood!”
Moses tried to sway, but Pharaoh looked the other way
While Moses begged and pled.
He made it, now he’ll sleep in his bloody bed!
As Moses sadly went on his way,
He heard his G-d say:
“Boom! Flash! Crash! You’ve done it, Pharaoh!
I’m really, really mad!
Death will come to all of Egypt,
And you will all be sad!
Temple B'nai Chaim, Georgetown, CT 